Sometimes life is just awful. You stub your toe, you fail that class, get dumped, lose a job, lots of things. Little things, in the grand scheme. Sometimes it’s big things: pain, sickness, death, and amazing people suffering for no apparent reason. It’s not fair in the slightest.
And platitudes don’t really help when you need them to. They might eventually, but not when you’re there, in the thick of it, grieving, trying to understand what went wrong, how can you ever be happy again? If this is you going through this, you already know what you need. Silence, video games, work to distract you, hugs, anything in your arsenal of coping skills that you know can get you through the day.
But what if it’s for a friend? For those closest to you, you might already know what they need. But you might not, and it’s ok to ask. “Is there something I can do to help you through this?” It’s ok if the answer is “just let me be alone.” You can do that, you can give them what they need.
They might want hugs, or to talk things through, or to talk about absolutely anything BUT “the thing,” or someone to just sit with them silently while they cry. They may not even know what they need and that’s ok. They don’t need to know. Just let them know you’re there, and act like it’s any normal day. Sometimes that’s really all someone wants.
But what do you do when you feel helpless in the shadow of grief and pain, at your wit’s end searching for something, anything, tangible that you can do. Make something, give it to someone that is expecting nothing. Pay for someone’s cup of coffee. Buy a sandwich for someone that’s hungry. Because everyone has tough times. Maybe you’ll be that bright light a random stranger didn’t even know existed anymore. And that’s a great thing, especially when life sucks.