It seems like lately I only really blog when something really tweaks my pisser. And something DID.

It’s a topic that I rarely see these days just because my friends list has gotten cleaned up. But sometimes, it’ll pop up when you least expect it. The topic? Prejudice in the lesbian community. Basically, lesbians that really don’t like anyone that does not prescribe to a very specific definition of lesbianism. From what I have gathered, this appears to only include women, that were born as women, that have only ever touched women in their lives. Now even if you may fall into that category, you must also not want to be supportive of any group of people that does not fall into that category.

Hi. I’m Nikki. I consider myself pretty gay.

I look pretty gay, usually. Also, cargo shorts.

I have only been with one woman in my entire life. That woman would be my wife. I romantically dated at least 5 guys before I met my wife (not that that’s any of your goddamn business, but it’s relevant to my ire). Did I find these guys disgusting? Nope. They were perfectly adequate. If I weren’t married to my wife would I ever consider being with a man again? Sure! I’m a bit fickle about who’s babies I would have (Tom Hiddleston, Benedict Cumberbatch, Michael Fassbender, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, swooooon). However, I am definitely much more attracted to women (oh hi, Lana Parrilla…) which is why I call myself a lesbian. I also have a handful of very close bisexual friends. Some of them are in long-term relationships with men (gasp). Additionally, I’d bet every single one of them have been in more same-sex relationships than I have, because it’s pretty hard to be in less than one. Does this make me less of a lesbian in your eyes? I don’t really care, honestly. Because I do not measure my merit based on the expectations of others.

Sidenote: For those of you that are confused about what bisexual actually means, it’s pretty fucking simple. It’s someone that has sexual attraction for men and women. That’s it. It has nothing to do with who they are currently sleeping with. NOTHING.

It seems that some people think anyone not following a specific set of rules should not be welcome in groups that are primarily made up of lesbians. I believe wholeheartedly in being inclusive to the LGBTQIA community. I don’t even care how many more letters we add to that. I welcome you all! I am also a firm believer that sexuality exists on a spectrum. The attitude listed above does not allow for that. Well, that may not be true. They probably agree that it exists, they just seem unwilling to participate in any groups that would be inclusive to any but the “L” in LGBTQIA. I want to go on record and say that I am a-ok with that. Anyone is welcome to hang out with and support any damn group of people you want to. You can refuse entry to your special club. It’s a free country, and a free internet (basically). Make your clubs. Put up signs denoting exactly the types of people that you will include so there’s no confusion. Then, when people like me see them we can say “oh fuck no, no thanks.”

You are welcome to do whatever the fuck you want. I am also welcome to do whatever the fuck I want.  But I am telling you right here and right now. If you are of a mind like I described above, you don’t have to worry about rejecting me from your club, because I reject you. Also feel free to block me on facebook. It helps me clean!

“But Nikki, don’t you do podcasts and shows that a bunch of lesbians listen to? Aren’t they gonna stop listening?” Probably. I do that shit for free because I enjoy it. If I lose some listeners, I don’t care. This is more important.

</end rant>


24 thoughts on “Oh I am RILED

  1. susanxmeagher says:

    Very nice rant!

    This is a good day to recommend an article on Martine Rothblatt, creator of Sirius Radio among other, more important things. It’s in this week’s New York Magazine. I would call her a trans woman, but she’s not so easily categorized. She says “Genitals are as irrelevant to one’s role in society as skin tone.” Yeah. She’s one of those crazy people who not only isn’t defined by her gender, she doesn’t think our skin color is super important. How does she know who to feel superior to?!?

  2. Yep, block my ass, too, if you’re one of the militant, judgmental JAGOFFS mentioned in Nikki’s epic blog. Who would want to be in your lesbian club or your company? Do send me your names, though, so if you happen to be authors I can fully NOT SUPPORT your work ever again. Don’t love ya, mean it.

  3. sunnycspot says:

    You tell ’em, NikkiFlash! If I have to be ‘defined’, I’ll take ‘human’. And sometimes I’m not even sure I want to be one of those.

  4. CAB says:

    OK now I have issues,..
    1. Why on earth would people stop listening to your podcasts. Well unless they start to suck, which they don’t.
    2. I don’t want to add more letters to the lgbtqixyz but that’s because I am old and have trouble remembering my own name at times.
    3. I hate labels but am labeled a lesbian because my wife is a woman. I don’t have a clue what I would label my sexuality other than mine. Of Fred. Fred could be a nice label.
    4. Oh and back to podcasts, I’m pretty sure you’d let non lesbians listen.
    *smooches* in a completely platonic cyber sort of way.

  5. Nikki, you are awesome! Thank you for being brave and speaking your mind. Thank you for standing up for those of us who didn’t know we were lesbians while still in the womb. Thank you for refusing to let others bully you. We need more women like you.

  6. There are so many other things in this world to be passionate about other than fighting amongst ourselves. i have a very close friend fighting to stay alive in Afghanistan as she defuses IEDs. Let’s focus on living instead of ways of life.

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