I’ve got a bone to pick with lesbian cinema. I use that term extremely loosely. Now there are adorable lesbian movies that I find really sweet and funny and enjoyable. Such as these two!
(so begins everyone complaining about how the actresses aren’t lesbians. Bullshit. Piper Perabo is a tweaner. Totally counts. And Lena Headey should be gay.)
But here’s the situation. You go to Netflix, search for lesbian movies, and you say “oh this is so highly rated, it must be great!” And the vast majority of the time, it’s not great. It’s, in fact, awful. I understand that lesbians are super excited to see movies about US. About things that we deal with on a regular. But from what I’ve seen, most of that means people (that really don’t have the talent for it) write movies and make them with people that have no talent for acting. So, you get a bad script full of overdone, supremely overacted lesbian stereotypes that make me cringe. (I’m looking at YOU Better Than Chocolate…)
Instead of just making a movie that happens to have GLBT characters (but has an actual plot aside from that) they turn it into a 90 minute instructional video on how to be a lesbian. You get the Uhaul joke (guaranteed) on top of lots of references that “you’ll totally get if you’re a lesbian.”
How does this happen? Do other lesbians sit around and say “hey, let’s just make a movie since Hollywood isn’t doing it for us”? Which is great, really! We need more lesbian movies! But instead of just writing one yourself, go find someone that is actually good at it. Please. And find actors that are actual actors. Not your friends, not the other neighborhood lesbian you know. That’s fine if you want to make something that you and your friends can sit around and appreciate.
But what really gets me is, why so many high ratings? The movies are objectively poor. I don’t know whether people see a movie at a specific time in their life so it holds a ton of meaning. I get that. But overall, I think all of our standards need to be better. Instead of just thinking something is good JUST BECAUSE it has lesbians bang, we absolutely need to applaud movies that are really well done. Or even mediocre! I’d totally take mediocre shit! Foreign countries do it all the time! There’s tons of well done GLBT movies out there. Step up, America!
ok /end rant