I’m a primarily self-taught knitter. This loosely translates to “I can never tell if I’ve fucked something up beyond salvaging until I’m nearly done with it.” I am making a double-knit hat for a friend as part of the Pay it Forward 2013 thingy that’s been going around the bookface. I have already attempted to make some such hat a few months ago. I screwed that one up enough to say “I’m never making one of those again!”
So of course I couldn’t resist giving it the ol college try again. I have never claimed to be very smart. My remembery is also very good at convincing me that things weren’t as bad as I think they were. So, I gave it anther go. Held the yarn a different way, and was going much faster. My confidence was soaring! Until I started making it more “hat-shaped.”
It turns out that when I purl the inner bits of the hat (cause I’m knitting the outer bits) my tension just flies out the window, turning what appears on the outside to be a perfectly normal hat into a hot mess dipped in shit on the inside. That might be slightly exaggerated but not by much. What that means is, you put the hat on, and it feels like some varmint is nesting on your head due to the extra squishy folded over big bits on the inside. UNACCEPTABLE.
So I ripped that shit out and restarted it in a way that sucks much less. There is something dangerously thrilling about ripping apart a project you spent hours of your time on. It’s a bit therapeutic, really. A deeply satisfying ‘fuck you’ to your own efforts. It’s probably some kind of humbling metaphor meant to provide me with cosmic guidance or some shit. Or maybe I just like destroying things.