It has recently been brought to my attention that I haven’t been blogging. I guess I haven’t been very inspired lately. I haven’t seen someone publicly urinate in MONTHS and all the irritating people at work have been on vacation. I know, all excuses. It’s terribly pitiful of me to hide behind such weak bullshit.
Well enough is enough! It’s the holidays, dammit. Plenty of ridiculousness in the world to jabber on about this time of year. Speaking of, I’m currently watching Carrie Underwood shit all over my television as Maria. Don’t get me wrong, her singing is lovely. But with every line she speaks it feels like my soul dies a little bit. Now I feel like a dick for saying that, because she seems like the sweetest thing. I will from here on out only refer to her as Carrie Underwood-bless-her-heart.
I think I’ll have to let my disappointment in the Sound of Music fester until it culminates in the most epic game of Cards Against Humanity ever. If you haven’t played yet, do so immediately, if not sooner. But don’t play with nice people. Make sure they’re assholes. But a very specific brand of asshole. The kind of asshole that makes you sometimes feel a little bit uncomfortable laughing with. That’s the ticket. And it helps if you’re an asshole too. Trust me. But don’t invite Carrie Underwood-bless-her-heart. Get Sarah Silverman instead.